Playing It Cool

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

9:22 PM

Meechie #2

Hey, You …

So, I come home the other night, late.  Real late.  Because it’s budget season.  And someone needs that, but then the other one needs something else, and oops, this one forgot to give you that to give to the first one who needs it for him and her and they, but she didn’t tell you.

And, it was minus one thousand degrees outside. 

And, I’d missed yoga class. 

And, I didn’t feel like cooking, so I ate an energy bar for dinner. 

And, in the distance I hear a clickety-clack clickety-clack I shouldn’t be hearing.

I walked to the back door and realize it’s the outside HVAC unit doing a drum solo.  Except the outside HVAC unit is not supposed to be doing a drum solo … ever.  

And … damn … how much is this going to cost?!

And … damn … it’s minus one thousand degrees.  You mean you really wanted to break down now?

And.  Why?  And.  Why?  And.  Why?

So, because I’m a trained, experienced, and licensed HVAC tech, I went outside to check the unit.  Surely, at least I could talk some common sense in to the thing.  I could plead for it to behave, at least until my budget could meet its ailment.  I mean, I was cold, too.  It’s ok to protest, but please don’t protest by breaking down … not now. 

I lit up the flashlight on my phone, shone it on the HVAC unit and, preparing to beg, saw the percussive instrument the thing was wailing on … a small chunk of ice, dangling off a corner, slapping the unit in concert with the momentum of the fan.

Clickety-clack.  Clickety-clack.

I punched the ice a little.  It fell off.  And, just like that, the conversation was over.

The drum solo stopped and I was standing there, in ovation.  In front of a quietly humming HVAC unit.

At once, I felt embarrassed for myself.  A little ashamed even.

And not because I panicked over the HVAC unit and whatever I thought might have been wrong.  Not because I went out there with no skills to diagnose or fix anything. 

And, not because I ended up standing outside at the mercy of a little chuck of ice.

I felt ashamed I had so soon forgotten all of my blessings.

I.  Have.  A.  House.  To.  Come.  Home.  To.

Out of the cold. 

With a warm, comfortable bed, and a full fridge and pantry.

I have a roster of friends and family who would’ve let me crash that night … and the next … and the next.

I am healthy.

The Universe is serving opportunities, buffet-style.

I am winning.

And, yes, it’s a pain – would’ve been a pain – to fix a major appliance in mid-season when my budget was allocated (spent) on other things.

But if I am so easily knocked off my foundation of gratitude, grace, and joy, then I have some reflection to do, some meditation to do, some journaling to do, some radical self-love to do and some breathing to do.

And if something is clickety-clacketing … it can sing away.

And.  Why?  And.  Why?  And. Why?

Because no matter what … I remain blessed. 

Here.  Whole.  Loved.

What’s making noise in your world? 

Tell me about it.

XOXO

Meechie

meechiemail.wordpress.com

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